The ways we deal with grief in distractions can lead to a build-up of physical and psychological symptoms that linger until dealt with. To cope with the emotional turmoil, many individuals turn to behaviors that temporarily relieve
their distress. These behaviors are known as Short-Term Energy Relieving Behaviors, or STERBS. While they may offer momentary comfort, STERBS can ultimately impede the grief recovery process. Understanding these behaviors and their impact is crucial for anyone navigating the challenging grief journey.
What Are STERBS?
STERBS are actions or habits that people engage in to distract themselves from the pain of grief momentarily. They are often coping mechanisms that provide quick, short-lived relief but do not address the underlying emotional issues. Here, we explore some common STERBS and their implications.
1. Overeating or Undereating
Food can be a source of comfort, and many people turn to overeating to cope with grief. Eating can soothe, but often leads to weight gain and health problems. Conversely, some individuals may lose their appetite, leading to unhealthy weight loss and nutritional deficiencies. Both overeating and under-eating are attempts to exert control over one’s environment in a time of emotional chaos.
2. Alcohol or Drug Use
Alcohol and drugs can numb emotional pain temporarily, offering a false sense of relief. However, reliance on these substances can quickly spiral into addiction, compounding the initial grief with additional health and social problems. Substance abuse masks the grief rather than addressing it, preventing genuine emotional healing.
3. Excessive Exercise
Exercise is generally beneficial, but when taken to extremes, it can become a way to escape from emotional pain. Excessive exercise can lead to physical injuries and exhaustion. While it may temporarily distract, it doesn’t allow for the emotional processing necessary for proper recovery.
4. Overworking
Throwing oneself into work can seem like a productive way to cope with grief. However, overworking can lead to burnout and prevent individuals from confronting their emotions. It also isolates them from friends and family who could provide support, further prolonging the grieving process.
5. Compulsive Spending or Shopping
Retail therapy can offer a brief emotional high, but compulsive spending often leads to financial stress and regret. The temporary satisfaction of purchasing new items does not address the underlying grief and can create long-term financial problems.
6. Excessive Television Watching or Video Gaming
Television and video games provide a simple escape from reality. While occasional entertainment is harmless, excessive screen time can lead to isolation and prevent individuals from engaging with their grief. This behavior can also interfere with sleep patterns and overall mental health.
7. Sleeping Too Much or Too Little
Sleep disturbances are common in grief. Some people may sleep excessively to avoid facing their emotions, while others may suffer from insomnia. Both extremes disrupt the body’s natural rhythms and can exacerbate feelings of depression and anxiety.
8. Engaging in Risky Behaviors
Some individuals may seek risky behaviors, such as reckless driving or dangerous sports, to feel alive or in control. These actions can be harmful or even life-threatening, and they do not address the root of the emotional pain.
9. Social Withdrawal or Excessive Socializing
Grief can make social interactions difficult. Some people may withdraw completely, avoiding friends and family, which can lead to loneliness and depression. Others might engage in excessive socializing to avoid being alone with their thoughts. Both extremes can hinder the healing process.
10. Binge-Watching Series or Movies
Like excessive television, binge-watching series or movies temporarily escape reality. This behavior can become an avoidance tactic, preventing individuals from processing their grief and engaging in real-life activities that could aid in their recovery.
Summary
While STERBS might provide short-term relief from the pain of grief, they ultimately delay the healing process. Proper recovery involves facing and processing the emotions associated with loss. Recognizing STERBS and their impact is the first step toward healthier coping strategies and emotional recovery. Individuals can work towards genuine healing and regain life balance by addressing grief head-on. Please get in touch with us at https://chaplainarthur.com to set up a free consultation for the only evidence-based program to address lingering emotional issues in life losses.
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